It’s 11:08 in the evening of February 13, 2013. Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day, the most awaited day of the month of love. She’s certain that lovers, chocolates, flowers, candlelight dinner under the glistening stars, dazzling rings and necklaces will be seen tomorrow. All of these remind her with the most unforgettable and most remarkable minutes of her life with him. And she doesn’t want to feel agony everytime she remembers those precious memories. She wants to be happy again. And being blissful means being reunited with her beloved Jonathan.
It’s been three years since Jonathan left; not provisionally but endlessly. He’ll be gone forever. And she feels like a part of her died too. This awful truth left Sarah waiting for her own death to come as well. She misses Jonathan all the time. She yearns to hear his angelic voice whenever he calls just to say goodnight or just because he misses her voice. She longs for his warm hugs and sweet kisses. She desires to hold him in her arms again and never let him go. Everytime she sees their pictures together, memories come back vividly as if it just happened yesterday. And this kills her soul within. She aches for him every second of her life. She’s been living an empty life for the past few years and she wants to end as soon as possible.
She heard the ticking of the clock; it’s exactly 11:10. One minute more and her Valentine wish will be granted. She had to do this now. If not, she will never find the right time again. Yes, everyone might judge and criticize her but she doesn’t care at all. To her, the greatest pain in life is not about hearing the criticisms of the people around; it’s about living without knowing the reason of your every breath. It’s about waking up in the morning feeling empty and numb. It’s about living and dying at the same time.
It’s been the longest minute of her life and now it’s about to end. She took her sleeping pills and lay down on her bed with a satisfied heart. In just five seconds, she will able to smile again which she has forgotten to do for a long time.
I love you Jonathan….(smiles)…..