Free Fall

I’m literally a walking “no-boyfriend-since-birth” lady. Having a lover or being on a date is not my thing. Let me clear things out. I’m straight. Yup. A straight girl who’s scared of relationships. I believe in love, though. I believe that true love exists. It warms my heart every time I see old couples walking hand in hand across the road and I shed tears of joy in weddings whenever I witness one. I guess I’m a crybaby because I cry over movies and TV series too. I cry whether it has a tragic or a happy ending. Sometimes, I find myself smiling; feeling the butterflies in my tummy whenever I think of a lovey-dovey book I just finished or remembered out of the blue. More often than not, I imagine myself in that situation and it makes me feel thrilled about my own love-hate story. It actually takes me several weeks to get over with such emotions.

I never resented the idea of love. To be honest, I’m in love with the idea of love and everything that goes with it. Love is what makes humanity humane. It causes people to do and want things. It pushes you to your limits and helps you discover things about yourself. It stops you from being and living normally. It’s insane but that’s what love is all about. Love is a series of highs and lows, of truths and lies, of tears and joys, of storms and rainbows, and of strengths and weaknesses. Love is a free fall to this sensational and phenomenal black hole and I think one needs all the guts and nerves to survive this black hole.

So here I am; the girl who never had the audacity to do the free fall. Am I lonely? No. Am I miserable? Not even close. Will I ever be ready to do the free fall? Definitely yes. For the time being, I will continue enjoying being free and independent.


Well, you should. I am the living proof of a happy independent woman.