I guess I have reached the end of the road. This is me saying goodbye, but ain’t personally saying it. I just can’t. I’ve held on for too long, and I can’t continue anymore. I’ve exhausted myself long enough.
Thank you for the memories. For the random friendly dates, coffee and acad dates, group calls and late night conversations. Grateful for all those learnings and pieces of advice. Career, financial matters, research ideas and assistance.
Happy with the little things. Those little things that fluttered my heart and touched the sleeping butterflies in my tummies. I finally got to know how it feels to admire someone, the kind of admiration that has a lot of respect and love. I’ll forever remember the little gestures that made me feel a lady.
Thank you for the ignored messages, confusing gestures, and mixed signals. I’ve realized everything’s just in my head. Giving meanings where it’s not supposed to be. I’ve learned about self-worth because of you. I’ve learned how to be independent, how to enjoy being alone. I have learned how to treat myself better. That I deserve better.
Thank you for those cute selfies, hearty meals, and free rides. Those made me feel a little girly. As you may know, I’m not that girl-next-door type of person that some men adore. I’ve always felt the need to protect myself from any form of harassment through my clothes. But with you, I’ve always felt respected and secured.
You know me very well. You know my deepest darkest secrets and past traumas. Yet you listened. You heard me. You have always been a safe place to vent. Always feel blessed to have a free access to your psychological stuff. ^^ I’m honored.
Thank you for being such a nice friend since 2015. Through highs and lows, you’re just a step behind me. I’ve never thought of wanting to walk right beside you–not behind, not in front. But I guess I’m just not the girl whom you’ll allow to take that spot. Whoever she will be, I envy her. She’s definitely one of the luckiest women on earth. I would lie if I say that the way our story ended didn’t hurt me. Yup. That’s our cliché story.
Just friends.
PS: wrote this in April 2021, saw it just now and posted
Little Mindfinities 